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Posts Tagged ‘out of place’

To you who’s been invisible, I want you to know that you are not alone.

We all know her. That person who sits by herself on a crowded corridor. The one who speaks but was never heard. The one who dresses up nicely for an occasion but never gets the attention. The one who walks the hallways but was never greeted by anyone. The one who blends in the crowd too much that she drowns. And the one who seeks to be remembered but fails to do so.

You know her. I know her. At one point, I was her.

There’s no great surprise that some of us don’t really leave a lasting impression on others. Or even a first one at that. ¬†With all the myriad of personalties surrounding us, how could everyone be noticed by everyone? There are times when these ‘invisibles’ get used to where they stand in the world. Maybe because they have their own world which does not fit any mold or the ones they consider to be rightfully ‘visible’ in the circle they live in. Sometimes, they scream just to be accepted by the people who may not be even aware of their cries. Yes, human beings can do that without even knowing it. They are so intent on making their own lives the center of the world that they could inadvertently leave out some other centers. And why the hell would they not want that, right? After all they’ve got only one life–their life to live.

Being invisible in certain situations is what other people could want. Especially when they don’t really want to be the center of attention. I have never really felt out of place until recently, but when I remember those years growing up, I could consider myself not really wanting the spotlight. Which has been good for me since I like spending time alone or with just a tight circle of friends. You can say, the sidelines were a good friend growing up.

I went through highschool and college being normal. My big sister was, in contrast, quite the more popular one, I suppose. And I enjoyed that because she was really more of the outspoken, friendly, and larger-network-type-of-gal. I even remember one instance when my own classmate knew my sister and was surprised to learn that she had a sister in her own batch. I actually laughed at it, felt a little embarrassed but eventually just let it go. Because it didn’t really matter that much.

In college, everything went as normally as it could be. No limelight whatsoever. You see, I was never really the type who came to class with a bang. I was mostly quiet. And I was never used to putting on makeup, dressing up, or being loud. As the years went by, I didn’t really feel all that left out. I had good, solid friends. A family that laughs at my jokes. My own dreams to be fulfilled. And my own personal dilemmas to even worry about being invisible.

That was until it happened to me. It was an experience that taught me so much. I learned that what human beings utterly crave for is simply to be heard. We live in this world so that our voices can be heard. Our presence to be felt. Maybe not by all people but definitely at least by some. In that situation, I felt like I really did not exist. I was not missed or remembered. I actually at one point even stopped trying because maybe a little part of it was my fault. But at the end of the day, it really hurt. Which I guess is the same pain felt by all those invisibles out there trying to feel important in one way or another. Human beings have that need for their existence to make a difference, even by a little especially to those people who are dear to them. We were born so that our thoughts, feelings and actions can somehow have an impact on others. And that is the plain truth of it all.

Maybe we were all meant to go through this to learn. Even though we act a certain way towards others, it doesn’t mean we can expect them to act the same. We have to learn that not everybody is going to accept our energy or enjoy our personality. And that the bigger lesson is to accept that they cannot accept us. There is a reason for that. I understood the reasons. And understanding is a huge part of accepting it.

So to you, like me, who has carried the invisibility cloak at one point in your life, believe that there is a reason why others would do exactly the opposite. These are the others who will make you feel visible. The others who will take the time for you to feel missed. The others who cannot wait to hear your voice. And these people, you have to find them. You don’t really have to search that far most times. These are your people. So smile, because you have your ‘others.’

Be grateful you went through it, because it has made you more compassionate. More understanding and aware. And that it has made you more determined to be heard. So speak up. Dress up. Stand up. Because, even if you do not feel or believe it, you matter.

 

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